Giving While Living 

Boomers have always challenged the status quo and so it should come as no surprise that this generation is rewriting the rules on inheritance and legacy. Instead of passing down wealth at the end of their lives, many are embracing a new approach. Call it “giving while living,” or, in its more extreme form, “die with zero.” It is about prioritizing shared experiences, relationships, personal fulfillment, and immediate impact over the delayed transfer of assets.  

For these Boomers, giving while living means using wealth to enrich their lives and the lives of their loved ones while they’re still around to enjoy it and when it can make the most difference. 

From paying for multigenerational vacations to funding home purchases for their loved ones, to giving outside of family, this shift in mindset emphasizes the joy of creating memories and sharing life’s rewards with family and friends, rather than leaving behind a large estate. In short, as the great novelist Philip Roth once said, Boomers seem to be saying, “It’s best to give while your hand is still warm.”  

Passing Down Shared Experiences 

Underscoring Boomer priorities, multigenerational travel is exploding. According to a 2023 U.S. Family Travel Association survey of parents and grandparents, more than half of respondents had taken a multigenerational trip in the last three years. Boomer respondents report that for most trips, they not only foot the bill, but plan and organize their multigenerational travel experiences. Rather than passing down all wealth through inheritance, Boomers are choosing to pass down stories, experiences, and shared laughter. They are turning to travel as a way to connect, bond, and share experiences across generations.  

The “Bank of Mom and Dad” 

Boomers are also providing greater financial support for their children and grandchildren than prior generations. Many Millennials are relying on the “Bank of Mom and Dad” to help with homes and other major life purchases. According to a 2024 study by Redfin, nearly a third of younger generation members have received financial assistance from their parents for property purchases​. In addition to helping with home purchases, many parents continue to provide financial support for their adult children. According to the Pew Research Center, about one-third of Millennials in their early 40s still receive assistance from their parents for everyday expenses like rent, groceries, and even streaming services. 

For Boomers, this approach provides immediate, tangible benefits, allowing them to witness the positive impact their support has on their children’s lives. Whether it’s helping a child buy their first home or pay off student loans, the joy of seeing their loved ones get a toehold on success is a powerful motivator for many. For Millenials, it means receiving help when it matters most. With Boomers living into their 80s, 90s, and beyond, inheritance may not arrive until their children are retiring themselves.   

Die with Zero 

For some Boomers, leaving as little as possible to maximize personal fulfillment is an end in itself. This is reflected in a growing movement known as “Die with Zero (DWZ),” after the book by the same name by Bill Perkins. The subtitle says it all: “Getting all you can from your money and your life.” For DWZers, paying for a friend’s honeymoon, underwriting the church group’s mission trip, paying off the medical debt of extended family, these all may take priority over leaving a traditional inheritance.  

The Costs of Longevity 

The biggest threat to the magnitude of the Great Wealth Transfer may be longevity itself. As people live longer, along with the rising cost of living, health care costs and long-term care expenses have surged. Combine cost with the daunting fact according to LongTermCare.gov that Boomers have nearly a 70% chance of needing some type of long-term care services and supports in the future. The concern is that many Boomers will deplete significant assets before they pass, with the nest-egg going to hospitals and care homes instead of family and friends.   

Planning Ahead 

With great wealth comes great responsibility. While we may not all be like the subjects of this headline, “Europe’s millionaires taking kids to special events to prepare wealth transfer,” talking with loved ones and planning ahead are the most important parts of the wealth transfer process. Having a transparent conversation with family members and developing a clear plan can make all the difference between the legacy of love and care, and one of potential hurt and confusion. 

There is little doubt that the Great Wealth Transfer will live up to its name, representing the largest transfer of wealth in history and making millionaires of many. And while it will play out over decades, it is also happening right now, not just through bank accounts and real estate transactions, but through family vacations, heartfelt moments, and shared laughter. As they continue to redefine retirement and legacy, Boomers are proving that wealth is about more than just money—it’s about living life to the fullest and sharing that joy with the people who matter most. 

Scott Schill found his calling in longevity law after a searing experience advocating for his mom. As the Director of Longevity Law & Planning at S. R. Schill & Associates, and founder of Thrive Longevity Law, Schill believes that relationships are key to longevity. He lives in West Seattle with his family. 

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The post The Great Wealth Transfer is Happening in Unexpected Ways appeared first on 3rd Act Magazine.

You know how when you are shopping for a new car you start seeing the same make and model everywhere? There is a name for that, it’s called the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. Your brain is subconsciously looking for the car, and as a result, you start noticing it more. I experienced the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, but it wasn’t about a silver Volvo, it was about my mom and retirement in America. Call it retirement interrupted.

Retirement Interrupted

JoJo was vivacious and youthful in appearance and spirit. She was also hyper-flexible, and a lifetime of aerobics had left her in need of major hip surgery. Eight torturous weeks in a body cast ahead. That’s retirement interrupted. But here’s the kicker: Ten days after surgery, on a Friday afternoon, we got some shocking news. First, the nurse said that Medicare wouldn’t continue to pay for her stay because they couldn’t do more physical therapy until the cast was removed. Second, she had to be out in 72 hours—so by Monday. She couldn’t go home and she couldn’t stay at the rehab facility. But she’s in a body cast for six-and-a-half more weeks. We cried. Welcome to the American healthcare system and Medicare coverage.

Now JoJo was energetic, and vibrant. She had a bucket list a mile long. She also wasn’t shy, a good communicator you might say. And now, amid the tumult, she forcefully voiced her anti-bucket list.

JoJo’s Anti-Bucket List

First, JoJo says, she never wanted to be forced from her home or become a burden on her children. She also didn’t want to lose her life savings to long-term care costs. Above all, she wanted family peace and harmony. These seemed eminently reasonable wishes. We were determined to help JoJo avoid her anti-bucket list. But how?

JoJo had done a lot of third-act or longevity planning with health, financial, and legal professionals. Yet, she worried constantly about her anti-bucket list. Whose fault was it? Her doctor said, “I fixed her hips, I did my job.” Her financial advisor said, “I invested prudently, I did my job.” Her lawyer said, “I prepared her will and powers of attorney, I did my job.” Everyone was doing their job but no one was doing the job. JoJo felt vulnerable as if she again got tangled up in the health care system all her worst fears might come true.

Once it happened in our family, I noticed it everywhere. The Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. The truth is that retirement interruption and the anti-bucket list comes for most families. It even comes for wealthy and loving families.

But what if there were easy steps families could take today, while everyone is healthy and independent, to actually avoid the anti-bucket list down the road? What if when the nurse says Mom can’t go home, for example, you knew a professional to call to work with the hospital and coordinate the pieces to bring her home instead? What if you could make the system work a little more for your family, instead of against it, all without overwhelming your life? That’s the promise and opportunity of an emerging industry called longevity planning. Now’s the time to look for a planner near you.

Scott Schill, a Northwest native, found his calling in longevity law after a searing experience advocating for his mom. As the Director of Longevity Law & Planning at S. R. Schill & Associates, and founder of Thrive Longevity Law, Schill believes that relationships are key to longevity. He lives in West Seattle with his family.

More on Longevity Planning:

Longevity Planning—Forecast: Sunny with a Chance of Rain

Adding Life to Our Years: Build Your Windmill

Advance Care Planning Leads to Better Peace of Mind

The post Avoid the “Anti-Bucket List” with Longevity Planning appeared first on 3rd Act Magazine.

 “You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” sang Bob Dylan in the counter-culture classic, “Subterranean Homesick Blues.” Today, we still need no meteorologist to feel the retirement winds blowing in a new direction. It is not our parents’ third act. For one thing, we’re living longer.

An ancient Chinese proverb provides us a surprisingly modern weathervane: “When the winds of change blow, some build walls, while others build windmills.”

A new branch of retirement planning is about building our windmills to harness these fresh breezes to our advantage. It is called longevity planning, and the goal is not about adding years to our lives—it’s about adding life to our years.

A productive windmill begins with well-designed blades that turn in unison. For longevity planning, the three blades are wealthspan, healthspan, and selfspan.

Wealthspan: Longevity is challenging traditional retirement planning. Some of the old rules apply: Saving and investing wisely, diversifying our assets, and seeking professional advice to protect wealth from unpredictable economic winds. But it also requires new life expectancy assumptions, stress-testing, and financial and legal planning tools to protect from the biggest longevity gales such as long-term care expenses and elder financial abuse. A good wealthspan blade should rotate reliably, no matter which way or how hard the wind blows.

Healthspan: Healthspan refers to the number of years in which we enjoy good health, free from debilitating illness or chronic conditions. Currently in the U.S., the average healthspan is 12 years shorter than the average lifespan of 78.5 years. Extending healthspan—with a goal of matching healthspan to lifespan—is a central piece of a thriving longevity.

A health care shift from disease management to “P4” (preventative, personalized, predictive, and participatory) medicine is essential. The Stanford Center on Longevity’s “Lifestyle Medicine” initiative is a good example. We must build windmill blades that harness the power of good health.

Selfspan: Personal growth, relationships, and a sense of purpose. Selfspan planning encompasses the development of one’s inner self, nurturing the emotional and intellectual aspects that bring meaning to life. As we consider our hopes and fears, selfspan expands to include our deep desire to remain home, independent, and secure. We all fear being forced by frailty to move, or become a burden, or get tangled up in our challenging health care system. A good selfspan plan today can allow your windmill to avoid or withstand even these kinds of future howling winds. The key word though is today. If we wait until the hurricane comes, it is too late. Too often, families end up at the mercy of where the storm winds blow.

Learn to Pivot

Just as a windmill pivots to face the changing breeze, we must be open to new ideas and experiences. While we may not have control over every gust of change that comes our way, we can choose how we prepare and respond to them. We can build windmills that generate vitality, security, personal growth, and add life to our years. Maybe Bob Dylan was on to something when he said the answer is “blowing in the wind.”

Scott Schill, a Northwest native, found his calling in longevity law after a searing experience advocating for his mom. As the Director of Longevity Law & Planning at S. R. Schill & Associates, and founder of Thrive Longevity Law, Schill believes that relationships are key to longevity. He lives in West Seattle with his family.

More on Longevity Planning:

So, what exactly is this practice of longevity planning, and how can it help us achieve our retirement goals? Read “Longevity Planning—Forecast: Sunny with a Chance of Rain” to learn more.

What are some of those areas we often overlook that are essential to successful planning and preparing for longevity? In “The Power of Planning: Taking Charge of Your Own Aging Journey” we offer a list to review.

The post Adding Life to Our Years: Build Your Windmill appeared first on 3rd Act Magazine.

Mark Twain famously said everyone complains about the weather, but no one ever does anything about it. It is a pity Mr. Twain never met a longevity advisor! Longevity planning experts are changing our third act forecast from storm clouds gathering to clear blue skies.

So, what exactly is this practice of longevity planning, and how can it help us achieve our retirement goals? For most of us, we want to live healthy, engaged, and relaxed lives. We want to pursue our passions, share our knowledge, and cultivate gratitude. We also want to enjoy family harmony, deepen our friendships, and avoid our worst fears, such as diminishing autonomy, becoming a burden, forced moves, family conflict, or outliving our nest egg.

It is no wonder we are anxious about aging atmospherics. The current forecast calls for a 70 percent chance of misery. Even when we retire right, with a great family, solid nest egg, and traditional legal documents in place, if we hit a health bump in the road, more than 70 percent of the time our challenging system delivers our worst fears—our families overwhelmed, adrift, or even in conflict. And the ultimate indignity is that we may get pushed to live in a nursing facility, all while watching our hard-earned nest egg slip away.

But don’t despair, because longevity planning is here to offer a new forecast! Longevity planning focuses on five key drivers of modern retirement success: finances, legal, health, housing, and family. By simplifying, dignifying, and unifying our lives and those of our loved ones, we can radically change the odds in our favor.

Goal number one is to avoid retirement interrupted. Currently, the average American lifespan is 78.5 years but average health span—the period of life spent in good health— is only 66 years. Did you know that just by changing doctors to a geriatrician after 70 years old you can reduce the likelihood of disability by 25 percent?

Longevity advisors offer proactive solutions that you won’t find elsewhere. Smart targeted solutions that empower you to shape your story and avoid family burden or drama down the road. For example, if a nurse says to your power of attorney, “Your mom can never go home again, here is 15 minutes with a discharge planner, where do you want to put her?” A good child that wants to do right but asking the social worker, “What do you recommend?” may put you on a path toward the nursing facility. Instead, you want them to say, “Hold on one second, I know Mom wants to go home if possible,” then call your geriatric care manager—your lawyer for the health system—to work with the hospital and, if viable, set things up at home in a cost-efficient and effective way.

With the right planning, your forecast for tomorrow can be clear blue skies. So why wait? Start your longevity planning journey today, and embrace the possibilities of a bright and sunny future.

Scott Schill, a NW native, found his calling in longevity law after a searing experience advocating for his mom. As the Director of Longevity Law & Planning at S. R. Schill & Associates, and founder of Thrive Longevity Law, Scott believes that relationships are key to longevity. He lives in West Seattle with his family.

Check out this 3rd Act Article on Longevity:

Striving for Immortality—One theory of today’s immortalists like Strole is the longevity escape velocity, the notion that technology advances in prolonging life will exceed the rate of aging bodies. Strole hopes to “live long enough to live forever.”

The post Longevity Planning—Forecast: Sunny with a Chance of Rain appeared first on 3rd Act Magazine.

As a child growing up in the 1950s, I would bring a dollar to school every Wednesday to deposit in our local Dime Savings Bank, with each deposit being handwritten in my bankbook. That experience taught me to put a “little something” away all through my working years. Now, I have a tidy sum of money that will support me through my retirement and, I hope, help bolster my children’s and grandchildren’s futures—but only if the world is not consumed by raging forest fires, unprecedented storms, or a host of increasingly common climate disasters. That got me thinking about green investing.

Our investments are meant to secure our future, but the world’s largest asset managers—Vanguard, Fidelity, and BlackRock—are investing our retirement savings into fossil fuel development and deforestation, which puts us all at risk.It’s well-documented that just staying at our current fossil fuel consumption will send the world past 2°C of warming. Yet, rather than heed warnings to reduce emissions, the fossil fuel industry plans to increase production through 2030, producing twice as much emissions as our carbon budget allows—funded by our investments.

The danger is not only to our climate, but also to our nest eggs. Fossil fuel investments are projected to lose half their value by 2036 as the world is forced to transition to renewable energy. According to a November 2021 article in The Guardian, many economists believe climate change will cause the next financial crisis, while too many American families are still recovering from the last one. As in 2008, financial institutions are making potentially catastrophic bets with our money on doomed assets, but this time those assets are fossil fuels. If these companies continue to ignore climate risk, their investors will face increasing wealth destruction. These are not the safe, steady investment choices they claim to be.

This financial danger is compounded by the risk of climate chaos through projects that undermine indigenous people’s rights and disproportionately harm communities of color. In the Ecuadorian Amazon, indigenous Quechua and Campesino communities are at risk of losing their drinking water due to the Block 28 drilling operation on their land—an operation to which they did not consent. Together, BlackRock and Vanguard have $1.2 billion in investments in oil companies operating in the Amazon that are contributing to indigenous and human rights abuses, forest destruction, and loss of biodiversity.

I am an elder—not an economist, nor a financial analyst—and therefore, I am most concerned about the world that I am leaving to future generations. Yes, I want to secure my own financial stability but not at the expense of my grandchildren’s future.

I believe today’s elders have a responsibility to act wisely and to speak up for the unborn children of the future—following the advice of our Native American neighbors who counsel that we must consider the seven generations in all our actions. This “Seventh Generation Principle” was a core value of the Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) who taught that we must respect and care for this world as we are “borrowing it” from future generations. Can we become “good ancestors” and ask ourselves, “What is the impact of our actions on those who come after us?”

As a child, my parents impressed upon me the importance of returning anything that I borrowed in the same or even better condition. Yet today we are on the path to leave a dirty and depleted world to our children. A world that is less healthy, with fewer resources, and many more problems, including an increasing number of young people do not want to bring children into this world.

Green Investing

Although many of us care deeply about climate change we often don’t know what to do about it. We might feel “small,” facing the immensity of the financial industry. While it’s true that individually we do not have much power, by working together we can make a difference. We can join the growing global movement of people—ordinary folks like you and me—who are leveraging their power as customers and demanding changes in fossil fuel financing.

Start now: Urge your asset manager to offer climate safe investments that do not include fossil fuels, deforestation practices, or high-emitting industries that are not actively decarbonizing. Attend Fix My Funds webinars, where we can support each other in using new tools, like Fossil Free Funds, signing petitions, and sending letters to asset managers. We can empower ourselves as skillful and confident investor activists.

Our investments are our resources. How they are used by our investment companies will determine the world that we leave to those we love.

We have an opportunity, as older folks, to fully step into our role as elders and connect our love for our children with our concern for future generations—our descendants. This love will help us overcome any discomfort and empower our actions, and demand that our financial institutions do the right thing and stop funding the destructive practices that harm the future for all.

As we embody our values and create hope through our actions, we’ll move steps closer toward leaving that thriving and just world that we desire for future generations.

Lynne Iser is President of Elders Action Network, and directs their Fix My Funds campaign as they works to build a movement of elders addressing the critical issues of our time. She previously co-founded the Spiritual Eldering Institute (sage-ing.org), with Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, and now teaches the work of Joanna Macy. For the future of her grandchildren, she is a member of the Rocking Chair Rebels, and an active participant in the Vanguard-SOS campaign to end the financing of fossil fuels.

Check out these online resources to help stop the financing of fossil fuels:

• Vanguard-SOS
• Elders Action Network’s Fix My Funds Campaign
• Fix My Funds
• Work For Climate
• Fossil Free Funds
• Thirdact.org

The post Follow Your Money—Green Investing appeared first on 3rd Act Magazine.

A quiet, gentle death without ongoing medical interventions. That’s what Jimmy Carter and his family had in mind when, after a series of hospitalizations and with the support of his family and doctors, the 98-year-old former president said he would spend the rest of his life at home with hospice care. So now, along with his work for affordable housing, human rights, and mental health awareness, President Carter will be remembered as an advocate for knowing when to say “enough.”

How about you? Whether you face a slow decline or a sudden diagnosis, do you want to exhaust every possible option to extend your life? Would you favor the balanced approach of palliative care, which centers comfort but can include continuing treatment? Or would you prefer to spend your last days (or weeks or months) in hospice care, which emphasizes comfort without the expectation of a cure?

Advance Directives

Advance directives are the essential first step in preparing for care near the end of life. These documents spell out exactly what you’d like if you are unable to make decisions for yourself. Most people are familiar with “do not resuscitate” orders, but there are also directives that specify your wish to voluntarily stop eating and drinking as death nears. There are even documents that can be completed in the early stages of dementia to outline your wishes for your health care, finances, and personal relationships as you live into later stages of the disease.

The messages are clear: Planning is important. People’s Memorial Association urges Washingtonians to “Get Your Ducks in a Row.” End of Life Washington encourages people to be “End of Life Ready.” Rebecca Hudson, client services coordinator, says that while End of Life Washington is best known for its work in helping people access Washington’s Death with Dignity Act, “We are about choice in general. We are about making sure folks know all their options and are given the resources and support for whatever path they want to choose at the end of their life.”

That goes for people from all walks of life, she adds—not just educated upper middle-class folks. “We really want to make sure that everyone in Washington knows what their choices are, no matter what socioeconomic demographic they’re in … no matter if they have a concierge medicine doctor, or they get health care at a community clinic.”

You need to sign your advance directives before two witnesses (notarization is optional in Washington state) and file copies with your family, doctors, faith community, and preferred funeral provider. Hudson notes that it’s fine to complete whatever advance directives you can, even if you leave some parts blank. You can always change them later. “At least name a health care agent,” she says, and give that person a general idea of the extent of intervention you’d prefer.

Life-ending Medication

Although advance directives provide great peace of mind, Washington is one of 11 states that go further via laws that allow people to request life-ending medication if they have less than six months to live. Patients must have the ability to make an informed decision and self-administer the medication. End of Life Washington helped 319 people exercise the right in 2022, and this spring, the Washington legislature acted to strengthen its original death with dignity law. Key changes include:

• A 15-day waiting period was reduced to seven days. With this change, fewer people will need to suffer longer as death nears—if, for example, they lose their ability to swallow.
• Prescriptions can now be made electronically, and medications may now be delivered via signature mail or courier. These changes will make access easier for rural patients.
• Previously, two doctors needed to approve a request for medical aid in dying. Now one of the two professionals can be an advanced registered nurse practitioner or a physician’s assistant, who often serve as the attending provider on many care teams.

Even in its new form, the law has gaps, especially for people with advancing dementia. This leaves Washington’s law short of that in Canada, where residents with dementia can, under some circumstances, receive medical assistance in dying, and where doctors are much more involved in the process. And access is tightening in Washington since about half of its health care systems are affiliated with religious organizations that oppose medical aid in dying—and where doctors can’t even talk about it.

“I’m amazed at the number of oncologists who don’t even know it’s legal in this state,” says Dr. Roy Graves, a retired emergency room physician who volunteers with End of Life Washington. Another challenge is a proposed federal rule change that would bring back pre-pandemic restrictions to forbid physicians and hospice teams from prescribing comfort care and medical aid in dying drugs via telehealth. The overturning of Roe v. Wade may portend similar rollbacks for medical aid in dying.

Death with Dignity

Death with dignity is personal for Graves, whose own father chose the option last year at age 102 after metastatic disease, COVID, and diabetes ganged up on him, even though he was still living independently and still driving. But “it was getting to the point where he couldn’t walk, and he said, ‘You know, I’m ready.’ I saw how important it was for him.”

“I was an ER doc for 38 years,” Graves says. “I saw a lot of bad deaths, and in my experience, the people who are most interested in death with dignity are the ones who’ve experienced bad deaths within their own families. When you can’t control pain, these people are just miserable, just hoping they can die.” He notes that the laws in New Mexico and Oregon now require just a three-day wait—and even that can be waived if death is imminent, such as after a bad diagnosis in the ER.

“When you’re dying, you really lose the sense you have control over anything in your life,” Graves adds. “You become more and more dependent on everyone around you.” Death with dignity confers the possibility of options and control, of hope within a hopeless situation.

With that in mind, “these are conversations to start having now, with your loved ones and with your physicians,” says Hudson of End of Life Washington. “And find out: Is your doctor supportive of these choices?” If not, she adds, you may need to find a new doctor.

At its best, aging is about wisdom. While few of us want to think about final choices that may be years away, it’s wise—and kind, to ourselves and our loved ones—to weigh our options and express our wishes sooner rather than later.

Julie Fanselow is a writer and editor in Seattle.

Resources to Get Ready

End of Life Washington (endoflifewa.org) offers an extensive library of advance directive forms and offers online end of life ready webinars.

People’s Memorial Association (peoplesmemorial.org) holds regular “Ducks in a Row” presentations that cover end-of-life planning and funeral options.

Dignitas (dignitas.ch) is an international organization based in Switzerland that advocates for choice in end-of-life matters.

Dementia Action Collaborative funded by DSHS  (dementiallegalplanning.org) offers free legal help in Washington state for health care directives, dementia directives, and powers of attorney.

The post Being Mortal—Planning for a Gentle Death appeared first on 3rd Act Magazine.

“Will you be the executor of my estate?”

While you want to serve a loved one, you should think twice before saying “yes.” Serving as executor is the equivalent of accepting a job with a vague description for an unknown employer!

I have been the executor of two estates in the past three years. And both experiences had more plot twists than your favorite action-adventure movie. In addition, I performed this role while running my business and leading my own busy life.

My first executorship was for my 95-year-old dad, who peacefully passed away in his sleep at his retirement home. I had moved from my home in the Seattle suburbs back to my hometown in Indiana to take care of him, and I am thankful I did so. However, he died during the 2020 COVID lockdown, and we could not conduct the funeral he envisioned. As executor, I made the best decisions I could given the enormity of the pandemic.

After his death, I moved back to Seattle, looking forward to reconnecting with my 70+-year-old best friend. However, she died after an arduous nine-month cancer journey. In a flash of an eye, I went from grieving a friend to making critical legal and financial decisions for her estate.

In our third act, we may be asked to tend to the estate of a relative, friend, spouse, partner, or loved one. However, there are unknown responsibilities that will come to light. I am not a legal, financial, or tax advisor, and I advise you to hire professionals in these areas. But here are a few lessons I learned about what it takes to be an executor.

12 lessons learned from serving as an executor

1. Know your role. As executor, your job is to protect and attend to the financial assets of the estate. Paying bills, filing taxes, and transferring property are just a few of the responsibilities. I also learned that dealing with hidden family dynamics and unwanted opinions from people with a vested interest in influencing your decisions is necessary.

2. It’s a commitment. Expect to spend a minimum of a year settling the estate. Even the most straightforward estates require time to file tax returns and distribute assets. If someone contests the will, it may take much longer. I discovered I had to pace myself for a long-term, emotional journey—twice.

3. Grief or greed? When a person dies, some people will genuinely grieve over the loss of the deceased. But unfortunately, others feel entitled to the deceased’s money or possessions. As executor, your job is to protect the estate, not to make people happy. There are formal ways to make claims against an estate in Washington, so you don’t have to make promises. When unknown people asked for gifts, I replied, “let me consult my lawyer,” which promptly ended unnecessary conversations.

4. The Will and Letters Testamentary are essential. I was surprised to learn that a Power of Attorney ceases when someone dies. I also thought the Last Will and Testament, which named me executor, was adequate. But Washington State may require you to obtain “Letters Testamentary” through the court system, which can take several weeks to complete. While you are immediately responsible for the estate, it takes time to prove you have the authorityto act on behalf of the estate.

5. Secure the deceased’s valuables. As executor, you must secure their assets. If you know where they keep their valuables, it will make your job easier. Lock up their wallet, keys, credit and debit cards, cell phone, checkbook, cash, jewelry, firearms, tablets and computers, and financial documents. Watch out for people entering the home around the time of death who have curious eyes toward their belongings. I immediately changed door locks and installed an alarm system when I discovered how many people had keys to the front door. Lock up these valuables because later, you will need these items to create a “Financial Inventory” for the estate lawyer and accountant.

6. You might have to pay for immediate expenses. Funeral costs, utility bills, and travel costs may require immediate payment. You may have to pay fees to move their belongings out of their home or apartment. Also, if you are nota co-signer on the deceased’s bank accounts, it may be months before you can access their money. For my dad and friend, someone wanted cash within 48 hours of death for funeral costs and unpaid bills, in addition to 10 copies of the death certificate at $10 each.

7. Don’t forget their digital life. We keep our stuff in our homes, but we keep our life online. You must find passwords, social media accounts, and financial log-ins. In addition, you may need the password to their cell phone, so you can receive authentication texts to log into online accounts. I ensured I knew where the “password list” and Wi-Fi password was months in advance.

8. Treasures or trash?When you go through the deceased’s belongings, you will encounter surprises. Treasures may include old family photos, love letters, collectibles, or cash. You may also find a stack of unpaid bills, extensive home repairs, or a basement full of rats as you discover a hidden life you didn’t expect. Try not to be judgmental. For instance, a lucky thrift store customer probably found the $20 bills my mom hid in hardbound books!

9. Did they have a business?Besides their personal life, they may have had a side hustle, professional licenses, intellectual property (like published books or patents), or a full-fledged business. As executor, you may have to shut down their business in addition to their personal estate. For instance, as a writer, I need to list my published works so my executor can address them.

10. Collect your cash.As executor, you can hunt down people or companies who owe the estate money, including paychecks or outstanding invoices. Check the state’s “unclaimed property” site (https://ucp.dor.wa.gov/) that has refunds, checks, or other finds that may be due to the estate. There are a few hoops to jump through, but it can be worth it. Every state has these sites, so look under your name, too. Recently, I found a PayPal refund for $30. Every dollar helps pay the bills.

11. Ask for help. It takes an army to clean up an estate. Engage the best legal and financial assistance to sort out the maze of bills, taxes, and financial obligations. If trustedfriends ask to help, take them up on it. Ask them to drive donations to Goodwill, help clean out closets, or tick off tasks on your to-do list. Over the last three years, I have hired tradespeople, junk haulers, and landscapers to manage the mountain of stuff left behind.

12. Keep good records.Set up a filing system for the massive number of documents you need to manage. In addition, your accountant or lawyer will let you know if the estate can reimburse you for expenses like mileage, meals, and estate costs. Track your time and activities and if you want to get paid an Executor Fee, remember that fee is taxable income. I keep a spreadsheet that serves as a daily diary of my activities, mileage, and expenses.

Should you say yes?

I have shared my executor experience with close friends. If they have been an executor, they give me a tired smile, sigh, and say, “they were lucky to have you as a daughter/friend.” However, other friends are updating their wills, cleaning out closets, and deciding who fits the executor role. It is a decision that all of us will have to make, so understanding the unexplained duties can guide your choice.

If you take on the role, remember to take care of yourself. You may be grieving a personal loss and taking on a new responsibility. Take time off, eat right, sleep, and know it will be over—eventually. I was lucky to have great friends who took me out to dinner, scheduled day trips, and helped me cope with this overwhelming experience.

Being an executor is a HUGE responsibility that is both difficult and an honor. That is why you need to pace yourself because the tasks can dominate your life. However, if you made a sincere promise to help your loved one fulfill their wishes, you will soon learn what it takes to complete the job of a lifetime.

Judy Michael is a freelance content writer, using her 30+ years of experience in consulting and leadership positions to craft content for Fortune 500 businesses and executives. Judy is also a talented intuitive and numerologist and can be contacted via LinkedIn, her writing website at JudyMichaelB2Bwriter.com or intuitive services website JudyAnnMichael.com.

The post Should You Serve as an Executor? appeared first on 3rd Act Magazine.

“I think the feeling of love is universal, but it’s also matched to where we are in life and how we show up,” says Ross Kling, a marriage and family therapist in Seattle. “The beauty of falling in love at any age is that it creates a new future for you.”

That new future takes a bit of work. Older adults have spent decades forming patterns for themselves. How do you honor someone else’s life patterns, experiences, and choices and blend them with your own?

“There are two aspects to patterns,” says Kling. “The ones that support our individuality, and the ones that keep us from growing—as in, being in a rut.” As a therapist, Kling suggests embracing things that define your partner and weaving them together with your own patterns. Take a hard look at behaviors that don’t support the relationship, though. You might not be able to change them, but with communication, there could be adjustment and compromise.

“Important questions absolutely should be talked about, but the answers can be really hard and will vary from one couple to the next,” says Judith Gordon, a Seattle psychologist. “It’s a very challenging time to be in a relationship.”

At any age, a relationship’s lifespan can be affected by many things that might, or might not, happen. For older adults, though, the actual human lifespan is a factor. There are risks involved. The possibility of physical or mental decline is real.

Gordon started her own later-in-life relationship in her early 60s. “When I met Lance, age didn’t matter. I was vital, he was vital. We didn’t have limitations. We hadn’t experienced loss.” Now, at 80 and 79, age is starting to affect the choices they make as a couple, even things that used to be simple. For example, they used to have three cats that lived out happy lives. Now they’d like to get more cats, but kittens might outlive them. “When you’re young,” says Gordon, “you just deal with it. Now we have to be more responsible and think it through.”

Decisions about housing are another issue. Living in a multi-level townhouse, with stairs, is beginning to be a concern, as is simply living in Seattle. “We’re thinking about other options, maybe Whidbey Island,” says Gordon. “But we have to take more factors into consideration, such as health care on an island.” It also takes motivation and energy to move and to set up a new home.

Essential conversation topics include whether to explore senior housing options that offer various levels of care; what will happen if one of you needs to become a caregiver for the other; and how close you want to live to your kids. And then there’s the talk about physical intimacy and what each person wants and expects.

“Talking about sex is awkward at any age, but as we get older, it’s more important. There will be changes and differences,” says Gordon. “There are losses that are hard to accept and have to be dealt with.” But sex can be good even with those changes. Fortunately, adds Gordon, there are more books about it now, and more information and discussion than there used to be.

Communication is key to every aspect of living together. “It’s really important to talk about all those things, so you know where the other person stands. You’ve shared concerns and there are no real surprises. It’s easier to talk when it’s not a crisis,” says Gordon. “Later, you can build on previous conversations. It’s an ongoing partnership.”

For couples who choose to move in together or marry, there are important financial and legal decisions to consider, too. This may be one of the most uncomfortable issues to discuss. LuAnne Perry, a family law attorney in Seattle, has seen the problems that arise when people don’t talk.

“Introduce it before you start living together,” says Perry. “You should be able to have a frank conversation and say, ‘We need to be aware of things and how we feel about them.’”

In Washington state, older adults have some different issues than younger ones. For example, if one partner has quite a bit more wealth than the other, and both are retired, there would be no community property. “If they weren’t creating new wealth,” says Perry, “then if they were to break up or one dies, there would be no jointly held property. So if one moved into a house already owned by the other, they wouldn’t be getting any property rights at all.”

Social security income is not community property. If one partner is still working, however, their income would be community property. “If you are the person making the money,” says Perry, “you might want to have an agreement that your income is not going to become joint property.”

“The older someone is when they get into a new relationship,” says Perry, “the more they want to keep what they brought into it. That’s definitely even more true if they have kids.” When one partner has significantly more wealth than the other, though, there could be an agreement that the other would get a percentage of the estate, or perhaps be able to live in the house they shared for a period of time when one dies.

It’s so much more complicated than starting out together at 25 or so, but it can be done successfully. Gordon and her partner co-own their house, but all other finances are separate, and their money will be left separately to their sons.

“I didn’t understand about getting older,” says Gordon. “A lot of it is about the mental, existential stuff. I’m still me, but the realities are different.” Her son, she said, gave her the best advice. “He said to me, ‘Decide how you want to live your life. Then, whatever happens, you’ll deal with it.’ I think that’s wonderful.”

Priscilla Charlie Hinckley has been a writer and producer in Seattle television and video for 35 years, with a primary interest in stories covering health and medicine, women’s and children’s issues, social justice, and education. She enjoys taking a lighthearted approach to serious topics.

The post Love, Risk and Resolution appeared first on 3rd Act Magazine.

Would you like to learn more about protecting yourself from online scammers and criminals? Could you use answers to your questions on personal Internet security? How do I keep my bank account safe? How can I recognize scam email or text? These are the types of questions we answer on AARP Washington’s Fraud Watch Fridays.

To help fight back against scammers, AARP Washington hosts two online events each month. Led by volunteers from the AARP Fraud Watch Network, the sessions are held on the second and third Friday of each month, starting at 10:30 a.m., on Facebook and YouTube (where they are also available for later viewing). The second Friday features the latest topics in the field, such as robocall scams, Amazon scams, email phishing, phony texts, romance scams, home repair scams, frauds targeting veterans, and more. The program on the third Friday covers online safety and cybersecurity; it features live questions from viewers and expert answers from AARP volunteer Dave Morrow.

Morrow, who lives in Bellingham, is co-lead of AARP Washington’s Fraud Watch Network of volunteers, along with Jean Mathisen of Island County, and is the driving force behind our online and cyber fraud education efforts. He’s had a nearly 40-year career in cybersecurity and counterintelligence for the military and private sector financial institutions. He was a Special Agent for the Air Force Office of Special Investigations, specializing in computer crimes. After leaving his military career, he was head of cybersecurity for two multinational corporations and head of incident response for a major bank.

“I’ve seen fraud’s impact on my own family members,” said Morrow. “I believe that many people who are taken advantage of by fraudsters can avoid a lot of these problems by adopting some relatively simple precautions. This is especially true when it comes to cyber fraud. I hope our tidbits of information on frauds and how to avoid them will help FWF participants develop a ‘fraud fighter mindset’ where they skeptically examine every email, text, phone call, and interaction.”

“There’s almost no question Dave can’t answer,” said co-host Anne O’Callahan of Issaquah. “And for the rare question where we don’t have a ready answer, Dave has the contacts and experience to find out. We want to do everything we can to ensure our members are safe from fraud online”.

While anyone can be targeted by fraud, older Americans are often victims. In 2021, the top two types of fraud Washington state consumers reported to the Federal Trade Commission were impostor scams and identity theft.

“We hope the Fraud Watch Fridays will keep our participants aware of how fraud schemes work, how to lessen their chances of being victimized, and keep them aware of new types of schemes that constantly arise,” said Morrow. “It won’t make you a cybersecurity expert, but our sessions will give you the tools to make your online life safer and more enjoyable.”

Join us on Facebook on our AARP Washington State Page at aarp.org/FraudWatchFriday or on YouTube at youtube.com/aarpwashington.

Mark your calendar for these upcoming topics:  

June 10: QR Codes, July 8: Password Manager Demo, August 12: Gift Card Scams, September 9: Medicare Scams, October 14: Holiday and Charity Scams, November 11: Veterans Scams, and December 9: Cyber Security.

You can register to participate in the next “Questions about Cyber Crime Fraud” session on Jun 17th by emailing aarpwa@aarp.org.

The post Stay Vigilant about Fraud, Identity Theft appeared first on 3rd Act Magazine.

The wants of retirement investors are generally quite simple. From decades of experience, I have learned we all want high returns on our money with little or no risk. In other words, we want something we can’t have. These simple desires have cost investors billions, if not trillions, of dollars lost to scams, exaggerations, and insurance products.

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